Ghost
by hecklesyeah
Summary: "Just guilt. And an overwhelming need to protect him from everything. Including myself." If she only managed to check the rooftop, she'd find the Winter Soldier flat on his back seemingly staring into space… [CACW spoiler-free]
_Author's Notes: Hey, guys. I don't know where this came from, honestly. I just woke up Sunday morning, typed the idea into my phone, and now here it is._

 _Anyway, this could be read as part of "_ _ **I Walk the Line**_ " _(somewhere in the AOU installment_ — _between chapters 1 & 2 of "Because You're Mine" in ao3, between chapters 7 & 8 in ) or as a stand-alone piece._

* * *

The Winter Soldier is fast, but Maria is a quick draw who always keeps her gun with her. And even as he's got her pinned to her door with his metal arm threatening to crush her neck, he can feel the barrel of a gun pressing into his abdomen. He's impressed but he's not about to show it.

He pushes further, adding pressure and closing the distance between them until he can feel the lines of his body meet the curves of hers. The barrel of her gun digs more into his abdomen yet something tells him she won't shoot. At least not yet.

"Who are you?" His voice is soft yet coarse, betraying a dangerous lilt.

"I—" She starts but it feels so much like the air is getting sucked out of her lungs. "SH— SHIELD." He loosens his grip a little and she fights back the urge to inhale deeply and cough; weakness has no place in a situation like this.

"Why are you looking for me?"

"Everyone's looking for you." When she responds, her voice is incredibly coarse and she notices his eye twitch upon hearing it. "Barnes." She watches something shift in his eyes upon the mention of his name.

"SHIELD's gone. Why are you still looking for me?"

Throughout their conversation, she keeps her gaze steady on his. "Better us than Hydra."

"Us?"

"I have...friends. One of yours too." At this, his eyes widen and he tightens his hold on her again, so much that she couldn't help gasping for breath. He knows she can shoot him anytime; he wonders now why she doesn't.

"Don't." He looks sharply into her eyes. "Leave him out of this. Don't— Not yet." He gives her a final look — simultaneously pleading and threatening — before completely letting go.

This time, she does cough and hold her neck as if to soothe it and keep it from bruising in the morning. "You remember." It's not a question and she hates that her voice cracks at the end. His reaction to his name was enough to clue her into his state of mind.

"No. Not…" He runs a hand through his hair. "Just guilt. And an overwhelming need to protect him from everything. Including myself." There is no question who 'him' is.

She studies him for a while before saying, "I will tell him about this encounter. I can't leave him out because he is at the center of this whole thing." Her features remain sharp and wary but her voice softens. "But if you want to leave, I won't stop you." She emphasizes her point by locking in the safety and slowly putting her gun down. He's coherent enough; she figures what he needs right now is honesty and a show of trust.

"Why?"

"As much as I want you brought in, I don't want to coerce you into it if you're not willing. Like I said, better us than Hydra."

He looks at her as if he were figuring out if she were lying. He nods almost imperceptibly before clarifying, "I meant, why are you helping him?"

"He's a friend," she shrugs. "And I sort of promised I would."

She watches as his head tilts even as a small upturn of his lips can be seen. "I didn't realize spies made promises." His smile turns bitter and something in his eyes shift again; he looks more dangerous now. "At least not ones they intend to keep."

She admires how even in his state of hodge-podge memories, his instinct to protect his friend still shines through. "Maybe spies don't. But soldiers do, _Sergeant_."

Another small shift in his eyes and his expression changes completely. _Do all men from the 40s wear their hearts on their sleeves?_ "I am not that man. I am not his friend." He looks away. "Not anymore."

"You may not be the same person but don't you think you both deserve a chance at friendship? To regain what both of you believed you've lost?" God, what is she even saying? "To have an opportunity to reconnect and heal? Together?" _What?_

He's frowning before he nods his head in the direction of the purse she dropped by the door when he charged at her. "Call him." She's surprised but his reiteration gets her moving. "Do it."

She only looks away for a second to get her phone but when she looks up, he's gone. No surprise there. She dials the number nonetheless as she walks through her penthouse apartment.

On the fourth ring, her heart skips a beat upon hearing her name spoken in his sleep-addled voice. "M'ria?" Then a rustling of sheets could be heard in the background. After he clears his throat, his voice sounds more like normal. "Is everything alright?"

She looks out the window and fire escape. "Guess who paid me a visit?" She even carefully leans out to check the ledge for any hanging supersoldiers. Nothing.

"Who? And why does your voice sound different?"

"Barnes." She chooses to ignore the second question, yet somehow her answer covers it. She closes the windows and clicks the locks in them. She supposes those locks wouldn't deter the Winter Soldier should he make a second appearance but she secures them anyway.

"Bucky? He's there?" If hope were measurable, she'd say his is dangerously above 90% percent, judging by the tone of his voice.

"Yes, him, but no, he's gone."

There is a long silence on his end of the conversation before he sighs, "What did he do? Did… Did he…?" He couldn't bring himself to ask the question.

"No, he didn't." Her hand instinctively goes to her sore neck. "He just wanted to know why I was looking for him. So I told him." She takes his silence as a cue for her to continue. "Don't— I don't want you to expect so much from him but he remembers. Not fully, and I suspect his memories are not linear. He seemed so...uncertain about which ones to take as truth."

He releases a sound that she thinks might have been a sob but his quiet yet clear utterance of her name leaves her unsure. "Maria."

"I don't know when he'll show up next, or if he will, but…" She contemplates whether to give him more hope or to squash it to keep him from hurting further. "He certainly remembers being protective." She sighs, "Steve, he remembers _you_."

If she only managed to check the rooftop, she'd find the Winter Soldier flat on his back seemingly staring into space; Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes, who's keeping watch at night for his friend's friend; Bucky, who's listening in on what he knows is a private conversation because he feels it's the only connection he deserves to the friend he thought he'd never see again yet managed to hurt in as many ways as he had promised to protect him.

He'll disappear again. But for now, he listens. He listens and trusts that there are people who will keep the little punk in check. And that one day, he'll see him again. _Steve_. Even if it means he'll meet his end.

* * *

 _A/N: Sebastian Stan has been killing me these past months, more so than usual. I love Bucky Barnes, really. I just always worry that I won't give justice to his character, especially given his state of mind post-CAWTS and in CACW. I hope this short fic did. Thanks for reading x_


End file.
